Things I Wish I'd Known Earlier

"Relativity" by M.C.Esher

The biggest limitation to your enjoyment of life, your personal fulfilment and your peace of mind is nothing other than your very own set of preconceptions about life and your situation in it.

The reality of life is that there is nothing that can make us unhappy other than our own thoughts about, and resistance to, what we experience around us.

If you are unhappy, irritated, sad, angry, jealous, agitated, it is because you are holding on to a mental conception of how you think things ought to be, and dwelling in that unrealistic state rather than connecting with the truth, simplicity and immediacy of what is, right now.

Here is a challenge for you. Next time you notice yourself making a negative mental comment about yourself or your circumstances, stop and ask yourself whether or not that mental comment or perception is necessarily actually true. Look deeply, try to find the root of it – what may have generated that perception in you in the past, why it might have become a pattern of thought for you, whether you have challenged that attitude in yourself before.

Some examples?

• I’m no good at this.
• Life has been very hard on me.
• If only I could afford a nice place to live, I would be happy.

And some possible corresponding truths?

• I’ve always believed I was not good at this and have therefore never really tried, or given up without giving it a proper chance. In any case, what does “no good” mean – do I mean absolutely no good, or just relative to some other people, or am I just talking about other people’s opinions that I have adopted? Even by those standards, there may be others have have done it better, but no doubt also many others who have done it worse. Relative to at least one other person, I’m probably better. Maybe they could even learn something from me. Etc…
• No person ever has a totally hard or easy life. Many people whom I imagine have had an easy life in reality may have experienced many hardships that I just don’t know about. How can I say for sure that my life is harder than anyone else’s? Even if I know a lot about their life, and think that their circumstances make it easy, is it not possible that they have their own private inner torment, and that they in fact experience life as even harder than I have done? Etc…
• If I look back, I can remember thinking that I would be happy if only lots of different things had happened, and by now in fact some of them have happened. And yet I am probably no more or less happy than I was then. Actually I am sometimes happy now anyway, at least if I’m not thinking about wanting a nicer place to live. And who’s to say that even if I bought an expensive house, I would soon get used to it and then start noticing lots of little things that weren’t as good as I had imagined. Etc…

So even if you still think or feel that something is probably true, just the recognition that there is at least a small possibility that it may not be true is enough to begin the process of freeing yourself, and allowing yourself to experience the current moment a little more fully, with greater presence, greater joy.

And from that point on, it is simply a matter of rinsing and repeating, rinsing and repeating. Each time you notice and challenge your own preconceptions, their grip upon you becomes diminished. Even though some patterns of thought may be deeply embedded and ingrained, a continuing process of self-observation will eventually wash them away, and leave you freer, lighter, and more alive.

This isn’t so much a discursive blog post as it is a convenient place to leave a public record of my dealings with Telstra while trying to transfer from an Optus mobile plan to a Telstra pre-paid mobile account (in Australia).

1. I purchased prepaid Telstra mobile SIM (pre-assigned number XXXXXXXXXX).

2. 11th Aug 2009 – I activated this SIM by phone and requested transfer of my existing number YYYYYYYYYY (from Optus).

3. A few hours later the transferred number was working successfully with this SIM in my mobile.

4. Tried to register for online services to deal with prepaid account top-ups etc, but unable to do so – got error messages saying my mobile number wasn’t a valid Telstra pre-paid number. I tried both my existing number (YYY…), which got an error message saying the number was invalid, and the pre-assigned number (XXX…), which got an error message saying the system was experiencing problems and unable to process. Repeated process after weekend – same result.

5. 17th Aug 2009 – Spoke to Telstra by phone, was given an account number to use to register with (instead of mobile number) – then I completed online registration process.

6. However, online registration showed that I apparently have no prepaid mobile account.

7. 18th Aug 2009 – Spoke to Telstra by phone – was told I had account but was NOT a pre-paid account. Operator offered to switch account to prepaid, and said they had now done so.

8. However, online registration STILL showed that I apparently have no prepaid mobile account (even after waiting another 24hrs).

9. Came to conclusion that Telstra account number I was given (see item 5) must have been for an old Telstra account plan I had terminated about 2 years ago.

10. 20th Aug 2009 – Therefore tried to re-register for online services using my existing number YYYYYYYYYY (instead of the account number given by Telstra).

11. This number was now apparently recognised as valid (ie. no error message), but was then prompted for a PIN, which supposedly had been sent to my handset, although I had not actually received one. I did have a PIN that was provided to me verbally by Telstra (in item 5), but this was a 4 digit PIN and was rejected by the online process.

12. I therefore tried calling Telstra again (1258880) and was TWICE cut off before was able to speak to anyone. NB – Even though this is a number for dealing with customer problems, it is a paid number.

13. Having tweeted about this, was replied to by @bigpondteam, who offered to help by providing an online form to submit the problem. I submitted items 1 through 12 above.

14.  Mon 24th – no change, no further response from anyone, still not receiving a PIN when I try to register my number, so called Telstra again. Telstra rep suggested I try again several times, clear browser cache etc, then finally tried it herself at here end using my details, without success. Final answer from Telstra – wait 24 to 48 hrs and try again.

15. Thu 27th – no change, no further response from anyone, still not receiving a PIN when I try to register my number, so contacted Telstra by via online customer support form submission, re-iterating the above.

16. Sun 30th – on the off chance, tried to register for online services again. This time I got a message telling me I was already registered. Hurrah! I was then able to login, view my account details, recharge etc. PROBLEM FINALLY SOLVED.

I suspect that the crux of the problem here was the complexity of Telstra’s internal systems, and the likelihood of “knots” developing from any small kinks that might appear from slightly unusual circumstances. It was quite frustrating – especially due to the fact that they never contacted me back. Apart from the brief flirtation with @bigpondteam via twitter, it was all one way. I had to keep retrying and keep recontacting them, or else just give up, and I have no idea whether @bigpondteam’s intervention made any difference at all. But I was of course pleased that they at least apparently made an attempt.

Last night I got to watch a preview of a new film about healing, called The Living Matrix. It is somewhat reminiscent of “What the Bleep Do We Know?” in its subject, although it is strictly a documentary.

Here are some of the more thought provoking items it presented or referred to.

• The power of intention and belief in healing has been illustrated repeatedly in medical trials of all kinds – via the placebo effect. And yet most people seem to just ignore or discount this, and continue to rely purely on chemical remedies, many of which are only partly effective anyway, or may have unwanted side-effects. There are many stories of dramatic and seemingly miraculous recoveries by people who changed their mental and emotional attitude when drugs have failed.
• Reputable research shows that people start responding emotionally to images before they actually see them. This is prime skeptic fodder, but there is no obvious traditional explanation for these results.
• Living things, including human beings, emit small amounts of light – “biophotons”. Yes, it seems we are truly radiant beings. 🙂
• The heart has its own neuronal network, and can process information on its own before sending it on to the brain. Thus, the concept of thinking with the heart may be as much physical reality as it is a metaphorical concept.

As usual with a presentation of “alternative” viewpoints, I found myself wanting more background information than the film makers were able to include (or than would be of interest to the general audience of the film I suspect). I guess that’s my scientific background at play – I want more details about how the research was done, whether its been replicated, peer reviewed etc. And yet even if some of this research did turn out to be scientifically flawed, there is still some profound re-thinking that needs to be done by many! Keeping an open mind can bring many benefits in life.

I intend to write about some principles that I have found to be invaluable in my own life.

Obviously I am writing about them as ideals. As imperfect humans we do not always manage to manifest our ideals perfectly. However, maintaining the intention to do so is a powerful practice in its own right.

The first one I will tackle is balance.

Do you lead a balanced life? Are you a rounded person? Do you maintain balance and poise no matter what is happening around you? Or are there aspects of yourself which are a little out of kilter?

The principle of balance works in many ways, at many levels. For example

• Physically – Are you equally strong on both sides of your body, or equally supple? Is your upper body more or less well developed than you lower body? Of course we do not have complete control over these things due to our genetics, past accidents or influences which have left their marks. But we do have control over how we sit, stand, move and exercise and whether we put more effort into our weaker areas than our stronger ones, and whether we focus too much on one type of exercise which might overdevelop one aspect of ourselves in relation to others.
• Emotionally – Are you more or less emotionally strong or resilient than you are physically or mentally strong? Do you repress your emotions or are you perhaps too easily emotionally aroused or too quick to dump your emotions onto others? Do you willingly put yourself into situations which you know will challenge you emotionally, or are you emotionally timid?
• Mentally – Can you see both sides of an argument? Having decided on something after reasoning it through, are you able to maintain your resolve? Or do you often allow your emotions to hijack your thoughts?
• Spiritually – Do you have a voice of conscience, a set of morals or standards that inform your thoughts, feelings and actions? Are your standards too highly enforced, leaving you often feeling guilty and repressed in your humanness, or do you overindulge yourself and put your standards aside rather too often?

In all these things (and in other aspects of life too), working towards balancing ourselves invariably leads to a higher quality of life.

If you thoughtfully examine current affairs, news and world events, it is possible to see how lack of balance of one kind or another has contributed to tensions and turmoil. Almost all distress in life comes through lack of balance of one sort or another and although much of the distress that you feel may come principally through a lack of balance by other people, groups or nations, balancing ourselves lessens the likelihood that we will inflict harm on others, and thus reduce the endless cycle of action and reaction that often ensues from this.

Although it is often futile to attempt to moderate the extreme or unbalanced behaviour of others through mental persuasion, the example that you set in your own life can be far more subtly influential, at least to those near enough to you to experience your presence and state of being. And with the whole world being within just six degrees of separation, any positive influence you have within your own immediate life sphere can spread far and wide – probably much more so than you might imagine.

Good luck with your efforts at finding a dynamic balance!

And in future articles, I will be seeking to do my own bit by covering a healthy balance of topics.